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Personal Growth

Where I write about things big and small that help us be better in big and small ways.

Mind MattersPersonal GrowthWellnessYOGA

The true essence of Yoga lies beyond 108 Surya Namaskars

by Roopa
written by Roopa

On International Yoga Day, June 21st, the commonest activity we see all around is the announcement of 108 Suryanamaskar ‘challenges’! Yes, performing that many Suryanamaskars (Sun Salutation sequences) at a stretch requires stamina and long-term practise. Such publicity, however, gives a layperson the impression that Yoga is perhaps about doing a certain number of Suryanamaskars! The essence of Yoga, however, lies beyond physical practises.

Going beyond Sun Salutations in Yoga

Yoga is much more than practicing or performing Suryanamaskars. Indeed the physical or exercise aspect of Yoga finds only a brief mention in the Patanjali Yogasutras as well as in the Hatha Yoga Pradipika, both revered texts of Yoga. Traditional yogic practices are all directed towards finding the calmness and stillness required to sit and meditate. These practises encompass a) Pranayama which includes breathing in a variety of ways to energize, balance or calm the mind and body b) full body relaxation techniques, c) mindfulness practices like chanting & japa d) meditation, the ultimate goal of yogis and d) Yoga Nidra which rejuvenates the mind and body. Yoga thus includes practises that combine mental, physical, spiritual, emotional, and ethical aspects of a human being.

The different limbs of Yoga !

A typical yoga class

Only a portion of an hour-long yoga class by a good teacher is directed to physical postures or asana practise. Yes, the practise of Surya Namaskars is a part of the class, depending on what the teacher wants the student to do on that particular day. The rest of the class is used to direct the students’ awareness to their inner self, to find a balance in their emotions and responses with the tools described above.

Finding Equanimity

In Chapter 2, verse 48 of the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says that Yoga is finding ‘equanimity’. “Samatvam Yogah Uchyathe”. This relates to many aspects of life.

For example, it takes time and maturity to treat success and failure, acceptance and rejection with equal composure. In the meantime, we can turn inward to recognise and celebrate our Divine side. Being able to feel One with Nature, and recognizing our Oneness with the Universe can make a great difference to our attitude to life, our relationships, our words and our actions. This is the basic aspiration of a Yoga practitioner.

While doing 108 Suryanamaskars is definitely a physical feat worthy of admiration, consistent and sincere practise of all the limbs of Yoga by many can lead to a peaceful and joyful society.

The real test is off the mat

While the asana or physical practise is essential to make our bodies strong enough to be able to sit still for long periods of time, finding true ‘balance’ needs an inner and outer awareness that should hold strong in all our interactions off the mat, outside the yoga class as well.

Do share your experiences with Yoga practise in the comments section below 🙂 ! What part of your practise do you find challenging/easy ?

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FITNESSPersonal GrowthWellness

One Simple Way to Keep the Child in You Alive

by Roopa
written by Roopa

I turned 53 recently and to celebrate my birthday ran 4-miles early that morning. It is possible to run marathons at age 60 and beyond, so my 4-mile run is not an achievement in that sense. My happiness springs from the fact that I have kept the child in me joyously alive by the simple act of running regularly ! Children run easily, it is natural for them to run about here and there, but many forget how to run (I mean physically!) when they reach adulthood.

On the road, a runner can be peacefully alone, unless they prefer running with company. The focus is on the breath, the patterns of inhales and exhales in musical synchrony with the sound and rhythm of the running legs as they go a steady thump-thump on the road. There is total awareness of how one’s body is moving, stride by stride. After the initial half-mile, one gets into a zone, a delightful flow of ease and acceptance both in body and mind.

Be a Child – Just Imagine …and Become !

Then, like children, who in their imagination change shapes and take different forms to become whatever their mind creates, a runner can become a deer, dainty and light, or a panther, all power and speed, or a bird, smooth and effortless. Running, thus, literally feels like poetry in motion! It is akin to meditation and feels beautiful.

There is the mindfulness and enjoyment of the breeze and the sense of freedom as a runner covers mile after mile. Then there is the mind game, the internal dialogue and determination to achieve one’s goal, and the subsequent learning about oneself every time.

The high after a run is real. I have huge smiles then, as all runners do. It comes both from a sense of achievement when I reach the target I set for myself at the beginning of each run, as well as from the sheer pleasure of the experience. While I enjoy running on the treadmill when I cannot run outside, outdoor morning runs are a different experience. There are the lovely smiles and waves I get back when I smile at other joggers on the road. These add beauty to the poetry and music of running.

Just Start !

For most people, the beginning of their first run starts with walking. With consistency and determination, the brisk walks alternate with short 2-minute runs. This progresses to a 5-min run and then to a continuous 1 km run. The excitement of newbie runners at this achievement of a non-stop 1 km run is a joy to behold! 5k runs are then not far behind. Many new runners take up this challenge and continue to progress in their runs. Those that recognise the mindfulness and music in running continue to enjoy it for as long as they can.

Everyone in decent health can experience the immense joys and benefits of running if only they take it up. One need not run marathons or even half a marathon. Running even 1-2 kms every day or atleast regularly makes a great positive difference to one’s physical and mental health.

I feel the same as Haruki Murakami who in his inspiring book ‘What I talk about when I talk about running’ wrote “I’ll be happy if running and I can grow old together.”

Originally published in The Hindu dated Feb 25th 2024 at link below:

https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/open-page/the-many-joys-of-running/article67861673.ece

Do share your experiences with the activities that you do mindfully and joyfully ! What keeps the child in you thriving ?

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Mind MattersPersonal GrowthWellness

A Simple Realization That Will Bring Peace

by Roopa
written by Roopa

Some simple realizations can be profound and can open our eyes in incredible ways to bring us instant peace. Many situations become much clearer as we are able to see them differently now. This clarity brings a level of relief that years of ‘thinking’ can not!

I had this experience some time ago while talking to my friend and what she said changed the way I saw people and situations. (Hema – so grateful to you! :))

Relationship Questions that bother us-

Be they our friends, family members or co-workers….at some point or another, we face relationship issues with people around us. We are disturbed, and ask questions –

“HOW can anyone behave this way?

Omg, WHY did she do that?

How COULD they say this?

WHY does he behave this insensitively?

Did she HAVE to say that? ”

These were questions that would pop in my mind when someone did something unpleasant or spoke something nasty and hurtful or behaved in ways that hurt me. I also wondered how and why some people have a negative outlook of everything. It seemed there wasn’t one single thing some people were grateful and happy about. WHY are they that way?! I would ask myself.

We also question situations that happen to us. WHY is this happening with me? This is a topic for another blogpost ! 🙂

Seeking answers

When people around us behave, speak or respond in ways that differ from how we want them to, obviously it disturbs us. We question their conduct and want answers to all the questions that pop up in our minds. We want the answers, not just some answers!

(Of course! The important question to also ask, and answer honestly is – have I myself been hurtful, inconsiderate, rude, or selfish?)

Most times however, we do not get any answers, leave alone the answers we want!

And then what? It is a cycle of analysis, overthinking, feeling low and perhaps even introspection and reflection. The mind is definitely not at peace under such circumstances.

Understanding why this was disturbing me

In the first place, what causes us to be affected by other people’s actions and words? It is actually quite simple! When I look at another’s behaviour, it is always in comparison to MY standards of what is nice or not, what’s right or wrong, what is correct or not! It is also about how I myself would have behaved quite differently with them in that situation.

Well, I would Never behave this way ! is what I would think. 

I would never say or do something that hurts them. Then why are they doing this to me? – is what I asked.

The comparison and connection is about whether their actions or words are in sync and on level with MY standards of ethics, principles, values and understanding of the world. 

Many times, there is no match between what I want and what I get. The difference, the asynchrony, the mismatch, is what makes another’s actions or words hurtful and unacceptable ! 

Usually the hurt comes because in these mismatched situations we feel – not valued, judged, ignored, rejected, disapproved, criticized, mocked, betrayed, insulted or being taken for granted. It could be just one, or a mix of these feelings.

Reality – different souls, different worldviews, different paths.

Truth is, we are all shaped by many different factors throughout our lives.

My standards are derived from my knowledge, my thoughts, my beliefs and my experiences. 

Person X can never have the same knowledge, thoughts and experiences as I do, consequently, there is bound to be differences in perspectives on just about everything. 

Everyone is carrying a certain baggage in terms of their opinions, views and experiences of the world, whatever stage of life they may be in. Yes, these experiences and worldviews change with time for many.

What I think is right can be wrong for another. What I deem as hurtful behaviour may be perfectly justified by another. Our actions are completely different from another individual’s because our thought processes are different. I may be looking at the world with blue glasses and another may be looking at the same world with red ones! Our world views are different. Behaviour is simply an outcome of what beliefs, biases, assumptions and values are dominant in our minds. Since these factors vary from person to person, to expect behaviour that is in line with my expectations is futile !

Labeling people helps me understand them through my lenses only. But it makes no difference to them, doesn’t affect them in any way. It can’t change anyone’s behaviour to make ME feel happier. That’s just how they’re meant to be. So for our own peace, we can either understand them, accept them, ignore them, or just let them go if their actions are not in sync with what we want and deserve.

Reality – different levels of understanding & enlightenment

We are all at different levels of understanding, enlightenment and realization of the world throughout our lives. Finally, what a person says, how he/she behaves or does is connected to their level of consciousness, maturity and spiritual evolution...and is the net result of their karmic baggage, whether good or bad, positive or negative.

The realization which set me amazingly free – 

Everyone that I see around are all individual souls that are in search of the fulfilment of their own destinies, to reach their own destinations, following their own paths in the way they know, whether in ignorance or enlightenment, through conscious thinking or non-thinking. 

People are simply acting according to the directions of THEIR paths, their destiny, their souls, through their personalities, and their understanding of life, whatever that level might be. This I need not question, I need to merely, simply accept.

I have nothing whatsoever directly to do with another’s actions, words and thoughts. It is a very individual thing. The karma/the totality of actions we do is ours to carry. What anyone does or says, positive or negative, good or bad, is theirs to carry.

If I am inconsiderate and hurtful to someone, it is because of the level of understanding that I am at, at this point in life.

If I am loved and respected, it is because through my actions, somewhere I am influencing someone in positive, uplifting, elevating, enlightening ways. 

Through good thoughts, actions and words, I raise my level of vibrations. With this, my level and quality of living as well as the level and quality of people I attract and interact with rises. 

Do not allow others to take away your peace

This realization does NOT in any way mean that we must accept hurtful behaviour or be silent when we are treated badly. On the other hand, we can look at people around us calmly, with the knowledge that whatever is their behaviour, it is indeed THEIR own choice and the consequences too must be borne by them. If it makes sense to vocalize our feelings, then we must do that and just step away.

Freedom through Realizing/Accepting

The greatest freedom and peace lies in understanding this. To realise that everyone (including oneself) follows their own individual path which is in their destiny, that their lives are meant to be led just that way with that kind of behaviour and action.

When we internalize this simple realization above, we know that questioning others’ actions and wishing they would act differently, according to our wishes, is a futile and meaningless thing to do!

Their actions could be appealing to us or not …but there’s no need to overthink or struggle to understand or question why a person behaves the way he or she does. And I don’t mean to say this in a negative way. It is meant to be that way, their soul’s state points out that kind of path.

A CHANGED PERSPECTIVE – MY PEACE

When I see people clearly just as individual souls, souls in search of their own destination, fulfilment, and liberation (mukti), every individual doing it in their own way, I am able to view the world a bit more dispassionately.

This is the outlook that gives me great peace! I am empowering myself to keep my emotions in a steady and managed level that allows me to just see everyone including myself as ‘divine souls on individual paths’. It is a beautiful and uplifting feeling to be able to do this. 🙂

Do share what your outlook is on being calm and at peace despite a mismatch in expectations of behaviour and actual outcome in your interactions/situations ! Cheerio ! 🙂

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Personal GrowthWellness

‘Contentment’ – An Important and Beautiful Feeling!

by Roopa
written by Roopa

Contentment is a beautiful, solid, long-lasting feeling. It is an internal attitude that is rooted in acceptance, mindfulness and gratitude, possibly the most important attitude to cultivate! When we are content, we are grounded in the now, we enjoy what we HAVE, and we enjoy what we ARE. We have the feeling that we are enough, we have enough. We feel complete, whole. How wonderful it is to feel this way !!

Contentment is a sense of sufficiency; a pleasant feeling not only about all we have but also a harmonious acceptance of what we do not yet have but desire. It allows us to feel calm and energetic, enjoying inner peace & joy, focusing our energies on productivity and positivity.

The Essence of Contentment

In Samskrit, the ancient language of India, the words trupti, santrupti, thosha, santosha, thushta, santhushta, paripoornatha, manah prasadah all mean (or are connected to) the word contentment. The prefix saṃ (सं, सम्) in these words is a prefix that denotes ‘all, complete, whole, entire’ added to the root words to imply acceptance of ‘what is and what is not, what we have and what we don’t have’ fully, completely, in its entirety, wholly.

It means that we enjoy what we have now, and are at peace with what we don’t have as well, and that is the Essence of Contentment.

Most of us strive for happiness not contentment! But we need to remember that happiness and contentment are complementary emotions and are both needed for emotional well-being in life. In fact contentment has a higher place in many cultures than happiness! Happiness is short-lived and could be dependent on external fulfillment while contentment is more long-lasting, internal and something we need to learn to feel!

We need to ‘learn’ to be content!

We have to learn to be content because discontentment and dissatisfaction are feelings that come easily while being content is a CHOICE we have to make! Contentment comes not by acquiring more material possessions but by choosing to focus on and rejoice in what we have. Feeling content requires us to be aware of our feelings, be present in the now, and needs a bit of practise!

The experience of contentment

Think of that delicious meal you had… when you ate just the right quantity, not too much, yet enjoyed it greatly. The feeling of satiety at the good meal, the lightness and the satisfaction afterward are what made it memorable! You wondered if you should eat a bit more, but said no……because you felt……yes, contented :).

We cherish that feeling of satisfaction because it is a long-lasting, gentle feeling unlike the spike or burst of emotion that comes with a victory, a win or an achievement!

Gratitude is the foundation of contentment.

While there’s no formula to create contentment, gratitude is the first step. When we remember all that we have and feel blessed and grateful for all the joys in our world, it is the beginning of contentment!

The next steps are – being mindful and accepting.

When we are mindful, we are aware of our thoughts and our surroundings. We are deeply aware of our breath and this itself is so relaxing, soothing. In such moments we feel complete and calm. We do not feel needy or dissatisfied. When we stop being needy, we focus on what we already have in positive ways.

When we are accepting of our feelings, emotions and our own selves with all the positives and negatives, we feel at peace. There are instances when we feel dissatisfied with an experience. We might be disappointed at a dish or the service at a restaurant. Yes, we can definitely insist that we receive only the best. However, to feel contentment, we must overlook and ignore some small things, be willing to see the bigger picture, and not get stuck with petty niggles. Being a bit less critical of ourselves, our work, and of others will help.

Does being content mean we need to settle for less? Should we discard ambition?

Definitely not. In fact when we put in our best effort while being in an active state of improvement, whatever is the result we get, we can accept it joyfully. And therein lies the difference between contentment and complacency !

Ambition (or desire for the best) and Contentment are not mutually exclusive. On the other hand, a combination of the two is the highest form of action – Selfless Action – as defined by Shri Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita. He, who was definitely ambitious and encouraged action gives us this powerful advise to accept the outcome, whatever it may be, as the reward.

Discontentment

Discontentment is the opposite feeling – a sense of insufficiency, a lack of satisfaction with one’s possessions, status or situation. It could be a sense of always wanting more, perhaps because what we already have is not valued enough. It is associated with restlessness and no ease of mind. Comparing oneself and one’s possessions with those of others could lead to discontent. This inevitably leads to despair because there is no end to comparing !

Of course it is not wrong to want more or have higher goals but this should not stop one from peacefully enjoying what one already has in the present. Constant dissatisfaction and a feeling of insufficiency lead to a sense of grievance. In this state how can there be peace of mind !?

Is discontent all bad?!

Surprisingly, the answer seems to be No. Some discontent is essential and is the driving force for advancements in any field. Discontent is a major motivator to re-purpose one’s life. When discontentment sets in, if the future action plan is a positive one leading to greater improvements, it could be of great benefit to self and humanity. Thus, we need some discontent in our minds too ! However, a state of contentment can still be used as a ‘parking’ state until the goals are achieved.

I quote from Sage Patanjali’s YOGA SUTRAS (2.42) which puts across the connection between contentment and happiness –

संतोषादनुत्तमसुखलाभः ॥ २.४२ ॥

From contentment is gained, incomparably the best, supreme happiness.

Simply put, it is from what we perceive as having, ie, from our state of contentment, that we derive happiness, not from what we do not have !

Do let me know what makes you contented and how you tackle feelings of dissatisfaction in your lives !

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Personal Growth

Why Excellence makes one so delighted!

by Roopa
written by Roopa

Remember that time when you put in your heart and soul and made that great dish that everyone loved! Or that time when you went all out to help that customer! Yes, that time when you practiced that song really well and rendered it so beautifully! That time when you submitted your best science assignment! What a beautiful feeling that was huh! Makes you smile when you think of it !

That’s what it feels like when we do our best. How nice it would be to do our best every time! How delightful ! Not just for us but for the witness/recipient as well !

Yet it is easy to just do whatever is passable, just acceptable, to get by. But that does not lead to excellence. Excellence requires us to put in more effort, our best effort in fact, to get superior and ‘higher than expectations’ results. It requires us to be immersed, present and reach standards that bring joy, satisfaction and delight, whatever our task or actions maybe.

The best part is – expertise and excellence raise the level of experience not just for the individual but for the person witnessing that expertise and excellence! This is the reason why it makes one so delighted!

Listen once more to Bharata Ratna M S Subbalakshmi singing Bhaja Govindam, recall Roger Federer’s passing shots, watch Mark Spitz in the pool…What pleasure, what joy, what inspiration just to witness their expertise, their elite performance !

While mastery and expertise pertain to skill sets and are acquired through consistent, dedicated practise, excellence is an attitude and a habit.

Excellence, mastery and expertise in any field are highly valued, respected and in demand. Whether in sports, science, art, literature or business, we recognise and admire high standards, high skill sets and high competence.

Everyday, we depend on experts in one way or the other – the nephrologist treating a sick family member, the lawyer taking up a property dispute on your behalf in the court, the guy that ‘expertly’ changes your car tyres, the pilot that flies you to Goa for your vacation – we need people who we can trust to keep our lives, money and family safe.

We look forward to enjoy the works, play and creations of excellent musicians, expert sportspersons, and masterful artists.

One need not get insane ‘chasing’ expertise, rather natural aptitude + immersive practice (sadhana) + regular course correction + a desire to be one’s best+ an attitude to DO one’s best every time leads to Excellence and Expertise.

Excellence is not a theoretical concept. It is not about just being the best version of oneself, it is about DOING our best, of being people in action, of doing the very best we can in any field, in any activity, be it small or big. The satisfaction, the joy of being in that space is immense.

Excellence is not about being better than anyone else at a task in any field. It is about being excellent in one’s own ways, being better than before.

Excellence is easy to recognise, as is mediocrity. Mediocre or sub-par levels of activity give neither the desired results nor high levels of satisfaction for the doer or the witness.

The Bhagavad Gita on Excellence:

The Bhagavad Gita IS about performance – performing to the best of one’s abilities.

As Krishna says in Bhagavad Gita, 3:21
यद्यदाचरति श्रेष्ठस्तत्तदेवेतरो जन: |
स यत्प्रमाणं कुरुते लोकस्तदनुवर्तते ||
Whatever actions great persons perform, common people follow. Whatever standards they set, all the world pursues.

By being excellent in one’s field, by choosing to be an expert, we can inspire many, guide many and teach many.

“Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence”
― Vince Lombardi

So are you ready to set those high standards and inspire the world with your excellence, mastery and expertise ? 🙂

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