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Mind Matters

Mind MattersPersonal GrowthWellness

There’s Loads of Money now, But…Where’s the Happiness ?(Part 2)

by Roopa
written by Roopa

In part 1, we saw that money is no guarantee of happiness, we cannot buy it. Rather, we need to build all the other aspects of well-being in order to feel good. In this post, we explore how one can take charge and develop the physical, emotional, social, mental & spiritual aspects of well being. Can we be more aware of what is happening within us and take progressive measures? What attitude changes will help us grow? Delve Deeper !!

Watch out! These can make you feel low despite you having loads of money !

1. Loss of Purpose in life – When we have no idea what the Purpose in our life is, all the earned wealth offers no fulfillment, internal peace or comfort. Despite luxuries all around, a person wonders what their life is all about. This leads to loss of self-confidence & self worth, leading to sadness. Ultimately, it is up to the individual to discover and if necessary, ‘re-discover’ their purpose in life through self -awareness and self-evaluation.

2. Feeling unvalued or undervalued – Reflect upon – Where does my sense of self-value come from? When the worthiness is external, i.e., comes from others’ validation, instead of own, internal, any negative change in the others’ view can cause unhappiness. If we look often to others to approve or appreciate our actions, we will be in for disappointment and frustration.

Check for yourself if you are ….

3. ⁠Feeling unloved/replaceable – Every human craves being loved in a particular way, feel wanted, and in turn have some people around to love and care for. When WE care for others and make them feel valued and cherished, we are doing a world of good for others and ourselves.
4. Selfishness – Everyone has needs. When our lives are full of I ,Me Myself, working just to fulfill our own desires without being cognizant of the needs and feelings of people around us, it alienates us from others’ affections. Doing what we can to help others in small ways without any expectations brings great joy because these kind of acts release the ‘feel good’ hormones in the brain.

money cannot buy these aspects of wellness

Too many Expectations (money can’t stop our feelings)

5. Expectations vs Reality : People may behave in ways different from how we want them to. This discrepancy between expectation & reality leads to terrible frustrations. Life moves from simplicity to complicity. Hence, it is better to keep expectations low and accept that people do not behave or act the way we want them to, without analyzing why this is so. Similarly, when WE do not respond or act in the way others want us to, we can hope to be understood.

6. Inability to deal with stress – Stress is what our mind makes of a situation. If we view our circumstances positively, there’s no stress but when we view something negatively, as a burden, compulsion, obligation or purposeless, we feel stressed. Stress leads to a feeling of helplessness. This can be disturbing, draining, and lead to mental and physical health problems. Learning to change our thoughts/attitude to deal with stress in empowering ways can make a positive difference to our health.

No Genuine Connections (money can’t buy them)

7. Inability to connect with oneself – Being in a state of distraction is convenient but unhealthy. We need to mindfully give ourselves the time and space for our needs and do activities that make us calm and cheerful. This self-care is essential, failing which, we are bound to deteriorate in all aspects. Indeed, it could be as simple as sitting down to enjoy some Silence everyday, reading a book or going on a trek.

⁠8. Inability to connect with a higher power – Just being able to make this connection alone can work wonders for many people. Whether it is with the Divine, a Higher Power or the Universe, when we explore some aspects of spirituality/ Divinity/ Nature, above all, we have great Peace within, a confidence and a Purpose. People with such a connection can be recognized by their vitality, positivity and ability to be comfortable with Silence.

Healthy Body, Healthy Mind!

9. Physical Fitness/Health – We need a body to live in. Our body is our ‘home’, we cannot live elsewhere. Just as it is uncomfortable to stay in a dirty, shabby, unkept house, we live less happily in a body that is uncared for. Ill-health can never make anyone happy. Keeping fit and healthy is our foremost duty. We need to respect and feel gratitude for the supreme intelligence of our bodies. 45-60 minutes a day to tone, stretch & strengthen our bodies, from whichever fitness routine we choose, keeps it supple and disease-free. In addition, we need to work on our minds as well, rejuvenating it regularly with periods of silence.

Your thoughts !

What are your thoughts on this topic? Are there any personal experiences/tips you want to share? Do write in the comments section below!

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Money can't buy peace, health or happiness
Mind MattersPersonal GrowthWellness

There’s Loads of Money now, But…Where’s the Happiness ?(Part 1)

by Roopa
written by Roopa

Money = Happiness. This is what most people think. So if you have a lot of money, are you naturally happy? To extend, the richer one is, the happier he/she must be, but is this true really? Apparently not. When a friend, who by any standards can be called wealthy, broke down and wept, stating he has neither happiness nor peace, it made me wonder where the void in his life is. Truth is, those with plenty of money may not be happy at all. In fact, they may be terribly unhappy with no peace of mind or joy in their lives.

Riches, Money and Happiness: Related?

How nice it would be to shop for 24 kgs of happiness, 18 liters of peace and 63 tons of health!

It is common belief that being financially well off is a pre-requisite to happiness, whatever the definition of happiness may be. True, financial adequacy and stability ensures a certain standard of living, comfort and security essential to human well-being. However, no amount of money can ensure peace of mind or joy. This is because wealth needs to be balanced with, and connected to other aspects of well-being to lead to happiness. Far from being happy, wealthy people may suffer from physical illnesses as well as mental ones such as depression, anxiety and other stress-related issues.

The other aspects of well-being are equally important

Well-being, by definition includes many aspects of life, of which financial wellness is just one. The others are physical, professional, mental (emotional), spiritual and social wellness. When we focus on building only one aspect of our life and neglect developing the others, at some point we end up not feeling good at all. The absence in the other areas of our lives is felt deeply. A person who has spent most of his life in the pursuit of money, neglecting the other equally important aspects of life, might have problems in his relationships, spiritual growth or physical health.

Feeling low despite a fat bank balance? Check these for yourself !

The Physical Aspect : How fit and healthy are you? Are you energetic or tired during the day? Do you fall sick frequently or rarely? Are you a sound sleeper? Do you take care of your health with any regular exercise/fitness/yoga routine that includes aerobic, strength & flexibility training? If the answer is no, not yet; remember it is never too late to start something good for yourself. “Health is Wealth” is true, today and always.

One can always take up any form of fitness from the multitude of options available. Physical health affects mental health greatly. A healthy mind resides more easily in a healthy body. In fact, physical activity is a prescription for mental conditions like depression. Remember, money can never buy health.

“Happiness is the highest form of health” – Dalai Lama

The Mental/Emotional Aspect : How often do you smile or laugh in a day? Can you say that your mind is often in the present? Are your thoughts always in the past or the future? Do you worry a lot? Is stress a constant companion or can you respond to difficult situations and changes in a calm rational way? Are your thoughts mostly unproductive (negative) ones or productive (positive) ones that help you grow into a better version of yourself? The answers to these questions determine your mental health status. If you are feeling low most times and can find no joy in your daily life, you need to seek professional help. Do not hesitate.

The Professional Aspect: Does the work you are engaged in or spend most of your time at give you reasonable satisfaction? What is your motivation to work? Do you find yourself mostly wishing you were doing something else? Or do you have a sense of pride in what you do, and how you contribute to the world at large with your work? The state of our minds and level of involvement in our profession can elevate or depress us. Either find your purpose in what you are doing or consider a change to find your purpose elsewhere.

People are more important than money or things – Randy Pausch

Social Aspect: Do you have some dependable, trustworthy friends and colleagues who make you feel loved, wanted and valued? Do your relationships make you feel safe and secure? Is your home environment pleasant and loving? Are there people around you that will help you out when the need arises? Are you in turn a person that supports, helps and are a true friend to other people including your family, your spouse?

We humans are social beings and do not do well in isolation. Hence we need to be with family and friends, making connections with people at work and elsewhere. If there is a deficit in this area, you need to work on developing and keeping relationships by changing your attitudes and habits. Although money can attract people around you, it cannot help form deep relationships.

“Discard who you are not ” – Deepak Chopra

Spiritual Aspect: Do you have Inner Peace? A clear sense of values? Is there a Higher Purpose in your life? Is ‘giving’ more joyful than receiving? Do you feel an interconnectedness with Nature? With the Universe? Are you connected with the Divine? Do you have faith that your life is heading the way it is meant to? Is there a quest to find out “Who am I?” Can you find solace in prayer and meditation?

Developing and recognizing an understanding of something beyond oneself leads to purposeful, higher levels of living. It leads to an understanding of life, what stage we are at, and where we are meant to go.

How can one take charge and develop these aspects of well being? Can we be more aware of what is happening within us and take progressive measures? What attitude changes will help us grow? Delve Deeper !!

Do watch out for the next part of this post !!!

What kind of connection do you have with wealth? With well-being? Do write your thoughts about anything in this post that you connected with in the comments section.

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Mind MattersPersonal GrowthWellnessYOGA

The true essence of Yoga lies beyond 108 Surya Namaskars

by Roopa
written by Roopa

On International Yoga Day, June 21st, the commonest activity we see all around is the announcement of 108 Suryanamaskar ‘challenges’! Yes, performing that many Suryanamaskars (Sun Salutation sequences) at a stretch requires stamina and long-term practise. Such publicity, however, gives a layperson the impression that Yoga is perhaps about doing a certain number of Suryanamaskars! The essence of Yoga, however, lies beyond physical practises.

Going beyond Sun Salutations in Yoga

Yoga is much more than practicing or performing Suryanamaskars. Indeed the physical or exercise aspect of Yoga finds only a brief mention in the Patanjali Yogasutras as well as in the Hatha Yoga Pradipika, both revered texts of Yoga. Traditional yogic practices are all directed towards finding the calmness and stillness required to sit and meditate. These practises encompass a) Pranayama which includes breathing in a variety of ways to energize, balance or calm the mind and body b) full body relaxation techniques, c) mindfulness practices like chanting & japa d) meditation, the ultimate goal of yogis and d) Yoga Nidra which rejuvenates the mind and body. Yoga thus includes practises that combine mental, physical, spiritual, emotional, and ethical aspects of a human being.

The different limbs of Yoga !

A typical yoga class

Only a portion of an hour-long yoga class by a good teacher is directed to physical postures or asana practise. Yes, the practise of Surya Namaskars is a part of the class, depending on what the teacher wants the student to do on that particular day. The rest of the class is used to direct the students’ awareness to their inner self, to find a balance in their emotions and responses with the tools described above.

Finding Equanimity

In Chapter 2, verse 48 of the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says that Yoga is finding ‘equanimity’. “Samatvam Yogah Uchyathe”. This relates to many aspects of life.

For example, it takes time and maturity to treat success and failure, acceptance and rejection with equal composure. In the meantime, we can turn inward to recognise and celebrate our Divine side. Being able to feel One with Nature, and recognizing our Oneness with the Universe can make a great difference to our attitude to life, our relationships, our words and our actions. This is the basic aspiration of a Yoga practitioner.

While doing 108 Suryanamaskars is definitely a physical feat worthy of admiration, consistent and sincere practise of all the limbs of Yoga by many can lead to a peaceful and joyful society.

The real test is off the mat

While the asana or physical practise is essential to make our bodies strong enough to be able to sit still for long periods of time, finding true ‘balance’ needs an inner and outer awareness that should hold strong in all our interactions off the mat, outside the yoga class as well.

Do share your experiences with Yoga practise in the comments section below 🙂 ! What part of your practise do you find challenging/easy ?

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Image depicting 5 steps to save Earth
Earth ConnectionEarth MattersMind MattersWellness

Desperate Need of the Hour-Earth Warriors

by Roopa
written by Roopa

Today is World Earth Day.
The theme this year is Planet & Plastics.
This is not a day for somebody else outside or ‘others’.
You, Me and Everyone else can live ONLY on this planet.
We have nowhere else to live.
Hence it is for You, Me and Everyone else individually as well as collectively to keep our ‘home’, our beautiful planet Earth liveable, clean and available for ourselves and our future generations.
Our lives and well-being are deeply connected with nature and unless we wake up at least now and make amends, we will have conditions worse than just heat waves, floods, cyclones and typhoons.

What is it that makes humans stupid enough to exploit and destroy their very home and imagine that they are the most intelligent of all creatures? I find it difficult to fathom this misunderstanding.

Till our last breath on Earth, we must ….

  1. Understand and imbibe how we depend completely on soil, trees, air, water and the natural world for our survival.
  2. Treat ALL these resources – air, water, soil, trees, the forests, the entire living world around us – with utmost loving, respectful care.

5 Simple Action Steps, Wherever on Earth you are…

  1. Use water mindfully, and as carefully as possible. Reuse water where possible. Every time I need to wash vegetables, fruits and grains, I put a bucket under the tap and feed this water  to some plants.
  2. Carry your own reusable bags with you and never accept plastic covers from any vendor whether in a mall or a local vegetable/fruit market. I keep foldable, reusable cloth bags in my vehicles and make sure my husband carries them in his car always.
  3. Recycle ALL plastic and recyclable items. Use the services of such service providers. Find such services close to you. I segregate waste and give out trash just once a month because I recycle or compost almost everything we use. One such provider – https://www.bintix.com/
  4. Carry your OWN water bottle from home wherever you go. This should become a HABIT. Whether you are attending a party or just going shopping, just making sure you drink from your own reusable bottle is going to make a great deal of difference to your plastic consumption. We ALWAYS carry our own water bottle whenever we step out of our house.
  5. ALL the organic waste needs to be composted. Simple small composting bins will take care of the composting process wherever we live. This compost can be used to grow our own tomatoes, basil or mint in small pots at home. Children learn to enjoy taking care of plants and learn a lot. EVERYTHING organic in my home is composted and used in our garden to grow our own vegetables and fruits.

What YOU DO Will Make A Difference!

Of what use is education and money if we do not have a planet to live on, if our kids have to struggle to breathe and get drinking water and our planet is destroyed?

We MUST make sure ALL children learn to make a habit of the 5 simple steps listed above.

If you think ‘someone else’ is going to save the planet for you so that you can live happily, you are terribly terribly mistaken.

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FITNESSMind MattersWellness

Lose weight quickly with this one movement!

by Roopa
written by Roopa

Many people assume that practicing Yoga may not help them lose weight because of the slower and more purposeful movements,. This is far from the truth. You can lose weight with just this one movement !

This movement in Yoga, one from the group called Greeva Sanchalana, is probably the one you need to practise to lose weight.

It is a simple neck movement really! Whenever a plate of food is offered to you or is in front of you, you just make the following movements in the sequence given below. Make sure to do it mindfully and with a smile 🙂

  1. Take a deep inhale, and exhale completely.
  2. Inhale and as you exhale, move your head to the right.
  3. Inhale and as you exhale, move your head to the left.
  4. Repeat the above movement briskly and whoever offered you the food will quickly get the message and take the plate away.
  5. If you do this movement regularly enough when you are tempted to eat more that you should, you are sure to lose weight in a surprisingly short time.
  6. 🙂 🙂

Yes ! This simple movement that indicates ‘NO’ is the movement most overweight people need to do !

The ONE reason that leads to weight gain and obesity is simply OVER EATING. That is all there is to it.

People find it difficult to say No to food – for whatever reasons. It is easy to just give in to food cravings and keep eating even though our bodies as adults need only moderate amounts of food, not more than once, twice or max thrice a day, to keep us energetic.

Over a period of time, eating larger quantities becomes a habit. With a sedentary lifestyle, this excess consumed food piles up and sits in the body as fat. Food that should nourish us then becomes a danger! Sad, isn’t it? Thus, awareness of how much we eat at every single meal is essential!

You might be surprised to know this – food is an addiction. Yes. It is. Just like any other undesirable addiction. Our minds have to be strong to overcome it.

What food is. And how you can lose weight by actually eating.

Food is meant to nourish us, give us energy and keep us healthy physically and mentally. Food uplifts us, keeps us active and assists in our longevity. After we eat we must feel energetic, not dull and lethargic. Eating should be a mindful, joyful experience for health and not just to satisfy and appease the 2 inches of taste buds on the tongue.

When we respect ourselves enough, we are particular about what we put into our bodies through our mouths and how much we eat. Whatever we eat must have enough Prana (vital energy in the form of absorbable, fresh nutrients) to replenish our bodies and minds. Examples of such Prana-filled food are – all fresh fruits & vegetables, sprouts, whole grains, millets, seeds, and pulses.

We must use our common sense and eat both raw food (salads) as well as cooked/baked/steamed food. When we eat stuff that is stale or unhealthy, it destroys our health as these have no Prana in them. Instead of healing and nourishing, unhealthy foods damage our organs. Such so-called ‘food’ must be avoided completely.

When you eat real food, it is unlikely that you will overeat because both the mind and body feel satisfied with the plentiful nutrients! So eating only good food will actually help one lose weight.

The fact is that when our body gets ALL the nutrition it needs from real food, we will be content and the tendency to over eat reduces in just a matter of days! We need to be committed to our goal to lose weight and get healthy.

Be firm and learn to say NO to food when:

  1. You have eaten within the past 4 hours
  2. You are mostly inactive physically
  3. You know the food you are offered/eating is not really ‘food’
  4. It is past 7 pm (say yes to water instead!).
  5. The food is stale, has no nutrients or is only going to satisfy your tongue!

You are definitely worth the time and effort to stay healthy for your own sake !

(Of course, diabetics and people with other diseases need to join guided weight loss programs)

Do write in to say what you feel about this post… and also to share your stories of how you overcome the tendency to overeat.

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Friendship
Mind MattersWellness

The Rights of Friendship

by Roopa
written by Roopa
Friendship makes our lives fun!

We are a group of 10 college friends who have been in touch with each other for the past 35 years. We meet once a year at one of our homes and we look forward to this day with great excitement! It is usually a mid–morning to evening affair with lunch served by the host. It takes weeks of planning, sometimes even months, if one of them has plans to visit India. It has been long since all ten of us met together because four live abroad. 

Still, for those of us who are able to make it, it is a day filled with lots of laughter, teasing, sharing, and caring.  We are all in the early 50’s, having graduated together from a women’s college. For each other though, we are just 17 years old, the same age we were when we all met. Many of our kids are married, a few in our group are grandmoms as well, but anyone who watches our banter would wonder if we are even grown-ups!  We are fortunate to be happy, enthusiastic people with interesting stories to share.

There is usually this one friend Ms. M, who claims to be ‘too busy at work’ and cannot make the time to meet, though she lives in the same city. This time too when she said she might not be able to make it for the get-together, feisty Ms. R would not hear of it. “We meet once a year and you are saying you are going to miss it? What is wrong with you? You have to come and that is an order “, she declared.

What another friend said to this is worth sharing and it sealed the deal. She said – Dosti ke haq ke liya ladna mohabbat hai.

 Translated it means – “To fight for your rights in friendship ….is love.”

It is all right in friendships to step up and insist that our friends make the time to meet and spend time together. To reminisce about good times further creates beautiful memories. When we laugh and listen to each other as we share our highs and lows with old friends, we feel valued and cared for. We learn to appreciate each other even more for what we have grown to become. Time just flies by as we discuss our hobbies and share tips on mindfulness, health and many other topics.

By being a little more courageous and proactive in our friendships, we show that we care. We must do what is good for the other, not just for ourselves. Simple gestures like picking up the phone and calling friends to wish them on their birthdays or anniversaries rather than sending them emojis on WhatsApp is a wonderful way of showing love. It brings a lot of positivity to both giver and receiver.

Friendship also means that we do not gossip about each other ever, we respect each other’s belief systems and sensitivities. We are empathetic and understanding if anyone has any worries.  We are allowed to use humour to brush off anything that is being taken more seriously than it should be.

We need to invest time and effort to enjoy our friendships and keep them lively and strong. The look in a friend’s eyes and the energy (or lack of it) in their voice conveys more than words on text messages ever would, if we actually look into their eyes and listen to their voices. Sadly, these days friendships are mostly over phone screens. 

Humans only need food, water, air and shelter to survive. But as C.S. Lewis said “Friendship has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”

This article was originally published in The Hindu Sunday Magazine Open Page on November 12th 2023. The link is below:

https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/open-page/the-rights-of-friendship/article67525282.ece

What feelings does this post bring to you? How do you keep your friendships alive and strong?

What do you wish you should have done to retain a friendship that you lost ?

Do share in the comments below ! :))

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Mind MattersWellness

Creative Visualization to bring your mind back into focus

by Roopa
written by Roopa

Here are 4 simple, fun and effective creative visualization techniques to help you get back into focus when your wandering mind thinks of wasteful thoughts and dwells on emotions that are not helpful to you.

What is Creative Visualization?

Creating mental images and movies purposefully in our minds and then intentionally transforming them in ways that benefit our feelings positively is Creative Visualization. It could provide the ‘change of scene’ that you strongly need, or it could be used to provide a resolution to your doubts and questions. You can do it as a rehearsal for what you want to achieve. Most importantly, it can provide that mental space where you can be productive, positive, and focused on doing what needs to be done. This post is about how to create a space away from distraction using creative visualization.

creative visualization benefits

Images are powerful things. So are feelings and emotions. Images have the power to alter feelings and behaviour. You can test this on yourself right now.

Try this visualization!

Do This – Think of a laughing, happy small child running and playing on a lovely beach. She shrieks with joy at the water under her feet. She claps her hands, runs and laughs even more. It is a beautiful scene.

Close your eyes and softly soak in these images for a mere half minute.

Do you know that you yourself have a smile on your face? 🙂

Do This – Think of a hospital scene that is chaotic. There has been a disaster and the hospital is full of wounded, bloodied people. Ambulances are speeding in and out , sirens wailing. Children are crying and shouting in pain. Mothers are running around looking for their kids. The hospital staff are rushing about getting the victims onto stretchers. Men are dazed and stumbling about confused. Oh the scenes, the sounds, the noises.

Close your eyes and soak in these images for half a minute.

Your heart is beating faster and your breathing is probably erratic.

Open your eyes and relax. Calm yourself. This is all in your head. Around you, everything is as it is.

This is the power of visualization!!!

Use this power to generate headspace for yourself

We may feel really strongly about something or someone, maybe in unpleasant ways. May be there is a problem we are facing, or a worry that is gnawing at us. When things do not go our way and the outcomes are different from what we expect, those feelings of stress and frustration are difficult to get rid of. Sometimes these negative, unhelpful thoughts, worries or concerns may overpower us and those images, those strong feelings may be both disturbing and disabling us.

Maybe they recur so often, it is difficult to concentrate. The same thoughts run over and over, the same worries come back again and again. We want to focus but those feelings are too intense and we are unable to do anything about them.

Consequently, this results in a waste of time and energy, leading to further frustration, affecting our emotional health and well-being.

Whether or not you are used to visualization techniques, these simple, quick ways will help you develop a sense of calmness and peace. An important characteristic of us humans, and we stand apart from other creatures in this regard, is our ability to imagine and visualize. So these can be done by anyone. Keep your eyes open or closed, whatever works for you.

Let’s do it!

A prerequisite before you start this exercise is to clearly define what/who it is that is bothering you. Put your concern into a single word or image if possible. If not, use a phrase that describes the situation. For example, if it is a colleague that is the cause of your stress, you can just visualize that colleague. If it is your wife’s health, you can visualize the specific words relating to her health. If it is a business problem, use a word that sums up what the problem is. If it is your daughter’s behaviour, be specific what behaviour is troubling you.

These techniques only provide you ways to the required headspace to work effectively despite the presence of that specific problem. They are not going to give ‘solutions’ to your problems; if through the resultant relief and calmness, you do come up with a solution, then that would be a great bonus. Enjoy these visualizations as you do them.

Bubble it awayyy!

The nasty things your boss (or anyone else) said is bothering you. His image and voice are persistent in your mind. You are unable to work though you have a presentation coming up in the next 2 hours. You really need to focus.

Do This – Sit up straight. Take a deep breath. Get a clear picture of your boss (or anyone else) in your mind. Now, whatever that picture is, put it in a huge, transparent, floating bubble. Yes, just like that. See it clearly now, that gigantic bubble with your ‘problem’ in it. There’s your boss (or any other problem in your mind that you put out as a word) just floating around. Play around with it. Your boss or your problem is trapped in that giant bubble. Enjoy it.

Now fix that image firmly in your mind, use your lips and blow that bubble away. Slowly and steadily. Blow on it, visualize it floating away, growing smaller and smaller as it moves away from you. Yes, take your time. Keep blowing at it till it goes far far away, getting smaller and smaller until….60 seconds later, you can no longer see it. It is gone. Completely out of sight. Leave it there.

Open your eyes. Even without you being aware, your breathing would be deeper and you feel calmer. Use this new space to be productive and at peace.

This exercise can be repeated as many times as you need to. With practise you will need lesser time to feel calm and focused.

Cage it, Shrink it !

Visualize your issue/concern in a cage, unable to get out. Keep it there, trap it. Now shrink that cage in your mind. Visualize it shrinking, and then shrink it some more. It is just a dot now. A mere dot. Ha! Just let it remain there, a dot. With a smile, get going on with whatever needs to be done without letting any issue weigh your mind down.

Let the tiger eat it up!

This is a fun one. So there’s your problem, out in the open, just lying there. Visualize a big, majestic tiger striding in there, gobbling up your ‘problem’. He fills his belly with it and simply walks away, maybe with a wink ! Take your time with this visualization and make it enjoyable! You have creatively made the problem disappear to give you the space you need.

Magnify it and let it just pop!

Visualize your ‘problem’ as a word, increasing in size. It grows and grows and grows. And then, pop ! It bursts and no longer exists. It’s nowhere to be seen. With that gone, use your time to put out your best efforts.

Take charge and rock your situation.

This is a visualization not just for the present but also for the future. Visualize yourself as being absolutely in charge of any problematic situation. See yourself as tackling the problem confidently. Even if the solution is unclear and the path is vague at this moment, just visualize yourself being in control. Focus on that image in all detail – the look on your face, the attire you are in, your posture, your voice as you speak, the environment. Internalize it all. Then get back to work on whatever needs to be done. This is a basic visualization that top athletes and achievers use.

Enjoy this process – be creative!

Pick any of the techniques I have suggested here that appeals to you. Yes! try them. Let me know what worked for you 🙂 !

Be creative and make your own visualizations! Create your own movies. Have fun! Remember that visualization can be very positive and can be used to magnify positive feelings as well. In fact, these techniques can be used for so many good outcomes. Do you have any other visualizations that you use? Do share in the comments below ! 🙂

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Mind Matters

Reminder to Make Mental Health A Priority

by Roopa
written by Roopa

Today, October 10th, is World Mental Health Day

As important as building biceps, triceps and other muscles for physical health is the strengthening of another set of muscles that are crucial but not visible externally – the mental muscles for good mental health.

Mental health involves 3 words – think, feel and behave.

1. How we think and What we think

2. How we feel about life, ourselves & others, and

3. How we behave. 

According to the WHO, 1 in 8 people around the world live with poor mental health. This has a great impact on the person’s well-being affecting their physical health, connections/relationships with other people as well as their livelihoods. When a person is not mentally healthy, it negatively impacts all the members of that family.

A mentally healthy person is engaged with life in positive, enjoyable ways, is interested in all that goes on in it, understands her/his capabilities, can cope with the demands of everyday life, and works productively.

This does not mean that we must feel good all the time!

As humans, it is perfectly normal to feel and display a variety of feelings & emotions that lie on the opposite spectrum of happiness – sorrow, anger, frustration, anxiety, worry, fear, stress, and confusion. The moot point here is the manner in which we cope with our emotions in testing situations involving unpleasantness, losses, uncertainties and difficulties.  

Are we able to get back to normalcy and cheer in a reasonable amount of time or do we feel overwhelmed, helpless, miserable and struggle to enjoy anything at all? Are we able to find calm, peace and joy going through our days? Do we have big smiles and laughter on our faces often enough?

While mental health is connected to what goes on in our minds, poor mental health could be due to many reasons including physiological, biochemical, socio-economic and situational.

Indicators of poor mental health. 

Negativity, feeling low often, feeling stressed, overwhelmed, unable to cope with every day issues, high anxiety, constant worry, loss of purpose, unreasonable anger, aggression, feelings of loneliness, constant sadness, indifference to one’s hygiene and physical appearance, withdrawal, persistent exhaustion – all these are indicators of poor mental health. 

Signs of good mental health

Cheerfulness, optimism, feeling good about oneself, being engaged with the world and the people in it, feeling energetic, being self-aware of thoughts, emotions and able to manage them well, being adaptable & accepting of the situations and people around us are some indicators of good mental health.

Life is a blessing

We are meant to live joyfully, smilingly…savouring our moments on this beautiful planet. We are blessed if we can do this. However, it is alright if we cannot be this way on our own and need help to get some perspective, balance, and joy into our lives.

There are many simple practises we can follow and good habits we can develop to make us mentally stronger and capable of being calm and centered.  

Here are some suggestions to boost mental well-being.

It is a personal journey, hence you, me, everyone… needs to find our own ways and learn to:

Take it easy & quieten the mind 

Develop self-love and value ourselves 

Take care of our bodies/ physical health 

Build and nurture social connections/ have nice relationships, and be close with friends and family. 

Grab opportunities to smile and laugh 

Talk to people, share emotions and concerns openly

Understand, accept and manage our feelings 

Work on reaction vs response and build awareness of unhelpful thoughts

Make oneself a priority and believe strongly that we deserve to live our best  

Practice coping mechanisms to deal with stress 

Be content and grateful 

Show respect to our body by eating healthy 

Connect with nature 

Cultivate and enjoy hobbies 

Sleep deeply and adequately 

Develop new skills through curiosity 

Practise kindness, be of service and give in any way 

Be mindful and present 

Accept all that cannot be changed and move on 

Letting go and break the thoughts that imprison us

Seek professional help unhesitatingly sooner rather than later.

In these times of war, turmoil, suffering and tension between people, countries, states and communities, it is even more important that friends and families understand, support and help one another.

I know for sure that positive actions like having a kind word, a smile, a compliment, being caring, giving and just sharing thoughts can make a lot of difference to the well—being and mental state of people around us!

Do share your thoughts on this post !

What is your top bounce-back tip to recover from feeling low, anxious or stressed?   Write in the comments below!

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Mind MattersPersonal GrowthWellness

A Simple Realization That Will Bring Peace

by Roopa
written by Roopa

Some simple realizations can be profound and can open our eyes in incredible ways to bring us instant peace. Many situations become much clearer as we are able to see them differently now. This clarity brings a level of relief that years of ‘thinking’ can not!

I had this experience some time ago while talking to my friend and what she said changed the way I saw people and situations. (Hema – so grateful to you! :))

Relationship Questions that bother us-

Be they our friends, family members or co-workers….at some point or another, we face relationship issues with people around us. We are disturbed, and ask questions –

“HOW can anyone behave this way?

Omg, WHY did she do that?

How COULD they say this?

WHY does he behave this insensitively?

Did she HAVE to say that? ”

These were questions that would pop in my mind when someone did something unpleasant or spoke something nasty and hurtful or behaved in ways that hurt me. I also wondered how and why some people have a negative outlook of everything. It seemed there wasn’t one single thing some people were grateful and happy about. WHY are they that way?! I would ask myself.

We also question situations that happen to us. WHY is this happening with me? This is a topic for another blogpost ! 🙂

Seeking answers

When people around us behave, speak or respond in ways that differ from how we want them to, obviously it disturbs us. We question their conduct and want answers to all the questions that pop up in our minds. We want the answers, not just some answers!

(Of course! The important question to also ask, and answer honestly is – have I myself been hurtful, inconsiderate, rude, or selfish?)

Most times however, we do not get any answers, leave alone the answers we want!

And then what? It is a cycle of analysis, overthinking, feeling low and perhaps even introspection and reflection. The mind is definitely not at peace under such circumstances.

Understanding why this was disturbing me

In the first place, what causes us to be affected by other people’s actions and words? It is actually quite simple! When I look at another’s behaviour, it is always in comparison to MY standards of what is nice or not, what’s right or wrong, what is correct or not! It is also about how I myself would have behaved quite differently with them in that situation.

Well, I would Never behave this way ! is what I would think. 

I would never say or do something that hurts them. Then why are they doing this to me? – is what I asked.

The comparison and connection is about whether their actions or words are in sync and on level with MY standards of ethics, principles, values and understanding of the world. 

Many times, there is no match between what I want and what I get. The difference, the asynchrony, the mismatch, is what makes another’s actions or words hurtful and unacceptable ! 

Usually the hurt comes because in these mismatched situations we feel – not valued, judged, ignored, rejected, disapproved, criticized, mocked, betrayed, insulted or being taken for granted. It could be just one, or a mix of these feelings.

Reality – different souls, different worldviews, different paths.

Truth is, we are all shaped by many different factors throughout our lives.

My standards are derived from my knowledge, my thoughts, my beliefs and my experiences. 

Person X can never have the same knowledge, thoughts and experiences as I do, consequently, there is bound to be differences in perspectives on just about everything. 

Everyone is carrying a certain baggage in terms of their opinions, views and experiences of the world, whatever stage of life they may be in. Yes, these experiences and worldviews change with time for many.

What I think is right can be wrong for another. What I deem as hurtful behaviour may be perfectly justified by another. Our actions are completely different from another individual’s because our thought processes are different. I may be looking at the world with blue glasses and another may be looking at the same world with red ones! Our world views are different. Behaviour is simply an outcome of what beliefs, biases, assumptions and values are dominant in our minds. Since these factors vary from person to person, to expect behaviour that is in line with my expectations is futile !

Labeling people helps me understand them through my lenses only. But it makes no difference to them, doesn’t affect them in any way. It can’t change anyone’s behaviour to make ME feel happier. That’s just how they’re meant to be. So for our own peace, we can either understand them, accept them, ignore them, or just let them go if their actions are not in sync with what we want and deserve.

Reality – different levels of understanding & enlightenment

We are all at different levels of understanding, enlightenment and realization of the world throughout our lives. Finally, what a person says, how he/she behaves or does is connected to their level of consciousness, maturity and spiritual evolution...and is the net result of their karmic baggage, whether good or bad, positive or negative.

The realization which set me amazingly free – 

Everyone that I see around are all individual souls that are in search of the fulfilment of their own destinies, to reach their own destinations, following their own paths in the way they know, whether in ignorance or enlightenment, through conscious thinking or non-thinking. 

People are simply acting according to the directions of THEIR paths, their destiny, their souls, through their personalities, and their understanding of life, whatever that level might be. This I need not question, I need to merely, simply accept.

I have nothing whatsoever directly to do with another’s actions, words and thoughts. It is a very individual thing. The karma/the totality of actions we do is ours to carry. What anyone does or says, positive or negative, good or bad, is theirs to carry.

If I am inconsiderate and hurtful to someone, it is because of the level of understanding that I am at, at this point in life.

If I am loved and respected, it is because through my actions, somewhere I am influencing someone in positive, uplifting, elevating, enlightening ways. 

Through good thoughts, actions and words, I raise my level of vibrations. With this, my level and quality of living as well as the level and quality of people I attract and interact with rises. 

Do not allow others to take away your peace

This realization does NOT in any way mean that we must accept hurtful behaviour or be silent when we are treated badly. On the other hand, we can look at people around us calmly, with the knowledge that whatever is their behaviour, it is indeed THEIR own choice and the consequences too must be borne by them. If it makes sense to vocalize our feelings, then we must do that and just step away.

Freedom through Realizing/Accepting

The greatest freedom and peace lies in understanding this. To realise that everyone (including oneself) follows their own individual path which is in their destiny, that their lives are meant to be led just that way with that kind of behaviour and action.

When we internalize this simple realization above, we know that questioning others’ actions and wishing they would act differently, according to our wishes, is a futile and meaningless thing to do!

Their actions could be appealing to us or not …but there’s no need to overthink or struggle to understand or question why a person behaves the way he or she does. And I don’t mean to say this in a negative way. It is meant to be that way, their soul’s state points out that kind of path.

A CHANGED PERSPECTIVE – MY PEACE

When I see people clearly just as individual souls, souls in search of their own destination, fulfilment, and liberation (mukti), every individual doing it in their own way, I am able to view the world a bit more dispassionately.

This is the outlook that gives me great peace! I am empowering myself to keep my emotions in a steady and managed level that allows me to just see everyone including myself as ‘divine souls on individual paths’. It is a beautiful and uplifting feeling to be able to do this. 🙂

Do share what your outlook is on being calm and at peace despite a mismatch in expectations of behaviour and actual outcome in your interactions/situations ! Cheerio ! 🙂

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